working for a desiGN company..

Right from the start of my stay at IIT Guwahati and having enroled myself in the bachelors of design program I knew one thing for sure.
NO WORKING ON A SOFTWARE JOB.
The saying was tough indeed and the going tougher. Atleast I can say so after joining the industry where India has had a major role to play and on which thrives the current Indian Economy. However the picture was clear. NO SOFTWARE JOBS.
Programming some how is not my cup of tea either hot or cold.
Having bagged two software jobs at the campus placements at IIT; also at times did put a doubt in my mind as to whether that was what was going to happen and me taking up one of those. When I look back today; I find that there were moments of anxiety, anguish, high adrenaline, low confidence,frustation, inspiration and above all HOPE.
Where I was heading to was unclear to me as well.
Sometimes I wanted to take up photography, the one thing in the world that I LOVE the most.
Sometimes my mind would want me to make movies on the lines of the short films made in due course of my stay at IIT.
Sometimes the mind would want me doing Graphic Design and Corporate Identity stuff.
Sometimes this, sometimes that....Not being clear of my goal was one major reason why I was indeed having so many difficulties.
But still the saying was clear.. NO SOFTWARE JOBS!!!!
But then one has to look for other opportunities... if not software then what??
What are the career options that are open??
Usability??? UI Design??? Multimedia??? HCI Related work??? Video??? etc etc...
But wait,, what did u say u were expert at???
NO ANSWER!!!
STOP!! Who are u trying to fool? Not the world for sure. There is just one person who is effected by the consequences of this and that is just YOU.
Yes.... It was me who was being actually effected due to the uncertainty in my mind and it was literally killing me from within. Not being able to enjoy anything ...even the company of near and dear ones was unwelcomed...
I had to decide onto something .. and that decision had to come fast.. before it was late.
Well it was only untill then that something else started creeping in.. DESIRE.. the desire to earn.. call it the lust for money .. not greed definitely ....
There was this another factor that was actually bothering me...
STRUGGLE is the synonym of life many say...and struggle indeed it was.. a more of a mental struggle... of me sitting idle at home doing nothing...of my friends at school and college doing something and leading their lives in a happy and peaceful manner as their choices.... OR IS IT WHAT THEY WANTED??
The chances that YOU will always get something that you WANT and DESIRE is indeed less.. and thats where compromise comes in. One has to compromise on situations. One Cannot go on rebel saying WHY COMPROMISE .. its the wise after all who do compromise...
So here I am ...
There could be anywhere my first job could have been, but look where I have landed. Currently posted as a User Interface Designer at Infosys Technologies Limited, Bangalore; a SOFTWARE company.
Although I did not land up in a "design" company but I did land up at a DESI-gn company! As the words go around here I work for a DESI company...! But still the desire to do things that I LOVE is there.. the fire keeps burning within... just that the length of the flames are a bit small this time...
and the saying is still clear.. NO WORKING ON A SOFTWARE JOB!!!!